The Mighty Three

Very nice picture! Like any good American, I know the history of my country quite well, and this is a very acurate picture of what I have always assumed to be my country's history.

America was invented in the 1400's by Christopher Columbus after he failed to invent India. Columbus sold America to the British to pay off his gambling debts, after which, George Washington hired a pride of lions to eat all of the British, he was elected the first President after he invented the dollar bill. Abraham Lincoln became president amidst a crisis known as the civil war, for which he invented tigers using spare parts he found lying around the White House living room. The tigers killed all the secessionists, but one of the tigers, named John Whiskered Booth became self aware, killed Lincoln and tried to use the tiger army to conquer the Earth. It was here that Teddy Roosevelt became the new president, and used his lazer vision to destroy the tigers, save the lanet, and restore balance to the Force! After which, Teddy Roosevelt went to Russia and Japan and kicked the crap out of them just by thinking about it. For his efforts he was awarded the Iron Cross. In the hopes of preserving his kick-assery for future generations, Teddy Roosevelt spliced his DNA with that of a bear, and named the resulting clone Chuck Norris! Then they all got drunk, ate some hamburgers, and remarked at how Iraq looked really nice this time of year. The end.

But on a serious note, this is a great picture. And I do like the lions and tigers and bear motif. Oh my!